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Psychalgia Exhumed: A Poetry Book

A collection of 20 poems by Sanya E Walma.
Sometimes our potential for growth and our ability to understand ourselves is buried beneath internalized fears and repressed feelings.
Untying the mental knots that distort our true selves requires the willingness to embrace our most intimate anxieties.
This collection of poetry is based on unearthing innermost troubles, finding beauty behind emotional disorder, and learning to express oneself honestly.

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Dreaming Splendor

I can’t afford bed sheets or makeup.

Beautified dreams, somehow, still come easily.

Even in poverty, the luxury of abstraction

Soothes me daily, in depression or inspiration.

Streetlights on snowy nights

Hold more potential than money or connections.

Shadows in the urban landscape,

More real than set ideals or purchased thrills.

Somewhere is an inevitability

Waiting to be dreamed into vibrant shapes.

Magenta rain against black skies,

Sleeping bodies forgetting their encroaching doom.

I can’t afford bed sheets or makeup,

But in my mind, I repose against splendid fashionings.

The faintest glimmer of peace and satisfaction

Awakes, and gives me space to keep imagining.

Trinkets

We belong

Like miscellaneous trinkets tossed

Into an unlabeled jar.

Without a splendid wrapping,

We search out our commonalities and raise them

As a standard to be adored.

Screaming in unison

We demand our due affection

From behind the congealed lace of neglected projections.

For our beauty’s recognition

We chose to betray the odds and ends

Whose identities unveiled our jar’s lack of meaning.

 

Field Of Eternal Sunset

Magic black and silver Cadillacs

Carry us effortlessly out of the city

In singing groups of five and six

Towards the field of endless sunset.

 

Barefooted, we saunter the soft grass,

As cool as the humid air that’s ambling

Through the bushes of lavender, sage, and chamomile

Surrounding the bonfires and fountains in odd corners.

 

The fires are hazy but bright,

And the waters seem to play a melody.

Keeping our eyes open causes the faintest strain

That intoxicates us evenly through every moment.

 

The crowds continue gathering

And soon the fairies are hovering between us,

Fluttering and dancing in silent revelry

To the beat of wings, water, and flame.

 

Wherever you move it stays the same

But the faces and voices endlessly change.

Every action you make costs nothing to take

And each weightless breath draws you in further.

 

There’s a time but no age,

No history and no needs,

It opens up only a sconed

And invites us to escape eternity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Friend I Loved

I sip and think,
Drink, play something simple,
And dream my day dry.

Always talking in invented memories
Between us, our friends, and in secret.

Maybe your face
Has become the placeholder
For someone I never knew but needed.

Maybe I loved
Someone too intensely
Without extending it.

I never picture us having sex anymore,
But I can’t help imagine us being intimate.

We should pretend we just met,
And become friends again
With better experience.

Easing Out A Shout

Lay back in bed
With a sweet scent and sad song,
Breathe in a bit
And spend some time comfortably doing nothing.
Feel your every movement,
Let sensation overwhelm you
And forget about any other
But yourself.
You’re exactly you
Without the stress and complications,
Someone who could judge you
Without judging your disguises.
Would you find it nice
Or simply terrifying, maybe nothing
Even matters to you
When you get down to it,
But if you have the second
To spend focused on your senses
It can open up your person,
Let her shout it out a little.

What I Want

I want to brew a cup of tea
And let it go cold,
Forgetting it amid our busy hands
And lips consoling one another.
The rain spatter on the window
Being the only sound
To accompany our growing hunger
In the darkness of our room.
Lighting flashes throw light
In our eyes and against our bodies
As thunder breaks
Like the sudden quiver of a pleasant touch.
The storm pummels on and on,
And we’re drawing each other out
Until we’ve consumed every drop
And we drown into sleep, solemnly spent.

Ritual

We put our heads together,
Hands to shoulders and thought to thought.
We broke ourselves open
And the weight of our anxieties was forgotten.
There, in a dark room,
We circled around a single candle.
There were no tears,
But the release was potent as heavy sobs.
A brief euphoria
Shared between joined hands in confinement.
Alive together,
Woken from our obsessive woes.

Sickness & Humanity

When the weight of a thousand deaths
Becomes clearer to you,
It reveals how narrowly we think
Of our life’s disposition.
The film-like determinist bewichment of
Glossy-eyed observance
Upsets and dissipates like snuffed flames
At nature’s assertion.
Travelers return from their dreams
To waking isolation
And open their eyes to an absurd reality
If only for a few moments.

With respect to life and death,
And the consciousnesses thereof,
Look into the mouth of darkness
We’re apart of.
Disease, it must be said,
May be more human than some humans.
That our entirety can be so fragile
Is our consistent condition.
When we remember our narratives
Are ours and ours alone,
The one we share demands consent
To have our comforts overrode.

In the busy days of Death,
What comes will prove our honesty,
And our actions will project
Our real characters into history.
Considering who and what we are,
The choices we’ve elected to embody,
What follows is the shadow of ourselves
And our inherited responsibility.
Impositions of misfortune
Are the most substantial opportunity
To engage with life’s true quality,
And for me to say I love you.