Maturity

Maturing day after day,

“Act your age” is just a phrase,

Natural action happens regardless

Of any percieved phase.

Growing is a pain,

Transition and change strain

Established habits so well

We almost break.

So laying awake,

Dreaming of a peaceful state

Like youth in love with death

For innocence’s sake.

The world shapes,

Hyperactivity anticipates,

The mind trys making sense

While feelings ache.

Some things fade

And sometimes we come late,

But forevermore ageing

The Act remains the same.

 

Chrysalis Contorting

Patience,

Like a spider in web

Or anxiety asleep,

Waiting on chance.

Owl feathers

Falling down somberly

As hours pass mutely

Through daydreams.

Arrested

Like a placid cloud

Or passive shout

Silenced in rain.

 

Awake,

Limbs flailing into open space.

Motion metabolized,

Surging like currents of liquid rage.

Chrysalis contorting,

Falling feebly in fragments to the floor.

Tempestuous breaths

Forming words worth belting

Towards the sky, the stars, and every quivering protest,

But,

Patience.

When wings with strength to support ourselves evolve

We’ll fly.

 

 

Thank you, everyone, for reading what I’ve written all this year. Please take care; and the best of wishes for you all in 2019.

 

It Feels Time To Die

When time passes and slips by so fast,

When I contemplate all that I’ve missed or forsaken,

It pains me to acknowledge my own mistaken steps,

To realize my fault in those moments taken.

To have aged to such a point missing out,

To have lost so many loves I should’ve cherished,

To be floating, numbing myself to indifference,

To have drifted past chances and watched them perish.

Will wisdom prove the worth of my decisions?

Have I lost too much to ever fully recover?

Do empathy and arrogance measure so equally?

Will hiding myself lead anyone to discover?

Choices, to decide what to do, what to be, who I am.

To be, my identity, with vulnerability and shame.

To understand, hidden weaknesses will never leave you.

Emotions leave you empty and cold when restrained.

Too many lost chances, too many disappointments.

Too long living sheltered, pretending to be free.

It feels time to die and murder insecurity.

To live again, opening as wide as I can be.