Over Control

You must behave.

Those emotions screaming to be gratified

Must be tamed,

And so you learn to self-control.

Radically closed,

Fear outweighing your need for expression.

Disfiguring yourself

In accordance with the principles of shame.

A pavlovian animal

Afraid to eat before it hears a bell.

Over-controlling,

You atrophy your capacity to love.

Trying to be yourself

Triggers your own self-loathing and disgust.

Connection is impossible,

So you’ll suffer to remain in isolation.

Once you know,

Once you recognize how detached you’ve become,

Your walls become flesh

And they won’t fall away without your blood.

Opening up,

Slowly, like unraveling a tender wound,

The glue and gauze

Still clinging tightly to your flesh.

Even then,

It groans and aches under pressure,

And you’ll shake

Knowing how frail you genuinely are.

Standing precariously,

You brace for the inevitable plunge.

Embracing uncertainty,

Choosing vulnerability over control.