When you can casually bleed
While your psyche screams,
Congratulations,
No one else will ever see.
Your imprisoned esteem
Only needs to breathe
Once in a while
To keep from getting free.
At persona’s relieve
Feel free to release
In humbled bursts
What trembles underneath.
As awful it seems,
It’s only a need
Left unsatisfied
By conventional means.
Carry on incomplete
In your vital deceit
Until maybe one day
You’ll be eased.
Reality was harsh
Recognition was worse
Revelation was unbearable.
I could find truth
I could accept myself with it
But I couldn’t relate it to anyone.
I could argue
And I could explain
But never enough to satisfy.
I could relax
And I could let it go
But it couldn’t ever leave me.
I want to be real
To be honest and understood
But I’ve learned not to expect it.
I learned to stay quiet
To hide behind an empty face
But I can’t always help it.
I need to let it out
But I know there’ll be pain.
So much held back for so long,
And I know it’s gonna be Hell.
