Thaw Me

Steam over snow

Melting away my dust

Vapor over crystal

I’m desperate to become,

Killing everyone

Fucking away the pain

Just won’t cut it

And I can’t even run,

Smile and a kiss

Without a worry for once

I’m still waiting

I’m still too numb,

Blood over snow

Lounging in my wreckage

Anger over fear

And the damage was done.

Not like this,

Not frozen in my hate,

Please, just a kiss,

I’ve waited for too long,

Please,

I’m so sorry,

I’m ready to move on.

 

Please Love …

It’s relieving;

A passion, intellect, and creativity

In a mind that’s not my own.

Intricacies of thought

In curling spirals interwove

Between the heart and dreams

Of an identity aflux

With wants and contradictions

Too personal to touch.

I admire you

For careing too much

But regardless carrying on

For every scalpel to your heart

And every nail in your palm.

Through bleeding and rust

From trust turned to deciet

By the quivering hands

Of one once at your feet.

I’m touched

Just to know you’re alive

Helps in feeling less alone

When depression’s winter chill

Seeps into teeth and bone.

If a thought could reach

From my bossom to yours,

I’d give as much love

As your heart could endure.

Places Where Nothing Matters

The desire to escape drives me towards the places where people do not gather.

In the remote and desolate deserts where the sun is still a master,

To the damp and foggy forests where the soil traps in moisture.

My sub-conscious needs pulling towards where people do not matter.

 

Every place with roads and rules implies a tacit social consent.

Mobility, morality, and my mask are part of that.

Society is life always in a partial state of restraint.

That’s why they taught the meek that they should be content.

 

For those who do not thrive, they say adaptation is the key.

Learn to see yourself as something you should be.

Intelligence and deviations combine into misery,

But you can’t escape yourself, so you’ll end up in therapy.

 

Or, you might escape somewhere in so far as you can imagine.

If remote and desolate landscapes please your palette,

Making you wish there were more spaces like it,

Even if objective reality will never make it happen.

 

Day dream illusions, substitutions, the unfulfilled hollow.

Placate and sedate if you need the escape.

The best places are where nothing even matters.

Swallow the pills and forget about your fate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wake Me Up

Musings

Half remembered, half wandering day dreams

Hours at a time suspended

Consciously awakening as I’m nearly asleep

 

A small flame burns

A brilliant candle in a chaotic void

Somehow still clinging to life

After all these years of neglect

 

Sensations dim, emotions encroach

Repressed dimensions of personality re-surface

Alive at last, gasping on that first breathe

Frightened, ashamed, too much too fast

 

A wandering mind asleep

Dreaming of lives it wished it lived

In worlds where every chance was fair

And supreme comfort was attainable

 

Lift me up

Cradle me gently in arms of flowers

Safe from threat of injury and distress

Convince me that it isn’t just a dream