They’re Not The Same

There are characters and stories I’d always imagined growing old with,

Looking back on forever as formative to my being,

But while growing up changes a person and our worldly understanding,

Stories often remain undeveloped and unchanged.

There are moments in books that once thrilled or astounded me,

That were once profound, insightful, or full of mood,

And while many of those words still make me feel something,

Their meaning seems to change as often as I do.

Themes that represented the concepts I believed so perfectly

Have revealed themselves to be shallower over time,

And writers whose minds seemed so beautifully percipient

Have fallen behind perceiving the experiences of life.

It’s sad to watch something beautiful be diminished

When circumstances change how it reflects in our gaze,

And characters that fell so easily into our hearts

Transform into beings from which we’ve become estranged,

But, if there are stories we’ve grown away from

It means that we’re growing all the same,

And becoming new and better people will always alter

Our understanding of what the past means.

Sentences and ideals that mattered then can still matter

With new understanding settled into the narratives we’re making,

And the stories we’ve left behind can still inspire us

As we renew our loves and troubles into characters worth creating.

 

 

 

 

 

Amelia Breathes

Amelia took a breath &
Exhaled a gold and silver mist.
The walls and ceiling gazed down
At her form curled up on the floor.
Flowers in a nearby vase turned toward her,
And the guitar in the corner looked as well.

She drew back sharply &
Blew deliberately without making wishes.
Waking one’s possessions can be dangerous,
Resulting often in unwanted attention &
Giving life can have ugly consequences,
Especially in things so tied to one’s distinctions.

In a whisper she expressed
Only the slightest wish for company.
How enjoyable would it be
To share her daydreams with everything she had,
Brought to life enough
To laugh and understand the girl they’re seeing?

A Lonely Reward, Cold Satisfaction

Listens to Lo-Fi on her phone,

Admiring the nighttime lights of the city

Through streets blanketed with snow

Where unknown treasures are buried.

Cigarette to her lips

Alongside that sensation around her face,

The teeth of wind,

Is all the satisfaction she can take.

To have hung on,

Lived to see another illuminated night,

Stress momentarily forgotten

Despite the punishing nature of her drive

Is worth rewarding.

She needs something, after all.

Time ever-encroaching

Demands a moment that’s enjoyable.

Dawn spawns the first shadows

As she reluctantly remembers herself,

Retires behind her bedroom windows,

And waits until she can escape again.

 

 

 

Soul Shaper

If I could manipulate my own soul

I would become so many other things;

A character in my favorite books,

A God of my imagined mythos,

An active observer of human history,

An Angel of guidance and/or death,

A spirit floating through endless space,

A designer of perpetual dramas,

A stranger in the realm of dreams,

A composer of symphonies of light,

A voyager through heaven and hell,

A state of being beyond space and time,

An immortal Goddess ruling empires,

And a mortal shell that made peace with death.

If I could manipulate the reality of my existence,

Would the meaning of anything really change?

 

 

Telling Life Like Stories

My story is my self-love,

Framing my existence against odds and fate.

I’ve never not been telling myself

How I relate to everything I love.

Sometimes everything means nothing

Logic draws an empty shape

A void of anxiety or dread,

The overwhelming potential of a blank page.

In confrontation with this,

My beating heart vs the blind night,

I tell the tale of “I” and “Us”

Displacing emptiness with narrative form.

The sharpened edge of reality fades,

Never abating, but making space for creation.

I draw meaning out of thin air

And weave it as I’m best able.

I exist, therefore I tell a story.

I value truth and beauty because I listen.

Every fleeting moment is somewhere

Between a comedy, tragedy, and romance,

But even the finest prose,

Is little more than painted dust,

Fractals to be discarded and neglected,

Swallowed whole by eternity.

It’s an absurd story,

Sound and fury told by an idiot,

The dearest fantasy of my heart

Like late autumn leaves.

Absurdity, my idol,

Language of passions and pleasures,

Defying inevitable complexity

To take rapture in the fantastical.

Laugh at my solemnity,

Existence makes us lunatics,

The world is a journal for mad ramblings,

And it’s a story to be loved.

 

By Sanya Elswyth Walma.

Visit my Patreon to help me keep creating and for exclusive poetry and other writings.